Dateline: Washington, D.C., U.S.A. 2018. In a special press confernece a spokesperson for the Food and Drug Administration announced that it has been determined that just about everything causes cancer in rats. After a 20 year study involving over 100,000 rats, it would now seem that, in sufficient concentrations and quantities, almost anything will cause cancer in rats.
When asked by a reporter what his agency’s position is on all the substances and products that have been banned by the F.D.A. for causing cancer in rats in the past, the spokesperson replied, “Uh, sorry!”.
Writer: Eric Maietta