Michael spent most of his youth in a Filipino prison for using the wrong spoon to carve a grapefruit.
He escaped, and made his way to Los Angeles by ferret.
Michael then studied International Film Production at the University of Phoenix with a minor in Intercontinental Prostitution.
He now performs stand up comedy for fetuses, and sometimes, pregnant mothers.
Michael does not accept fruit baskets from fans, due to a severe shellfish allergy.